Islam Beliefs
Understanding the role of the father in Islam
The father plays a key role in the family. He is responsible for leading his family spiritually, providing for their needs, and loving them sacrificially. It is a sad truth that in our broken sinful world, many people do not have a good experience with their father or have a father at all. In most cases a person’s relationship with their father can influence how they interact with people for the rest of their life.
Islamic family roles are very explicitly outlined in the Islamic religion and Shari’a law. We’ve covered expectations for Muslim mothers before (read it here). Now it is time to learn what is expected of Muslim men when they start a family.
Expectations for a Muslim father
The gender roles in a Muslim family are clear: the father is superior to the mother in every aspect. He is also the provider and protector. He protects his family from any harm, but he is also responsible to protect the honor of his small and extended family. This sometimes pushes Muslim fathers to take strict action and punish any family member whose actions could bring shame to the family as a whole.
The Quran and Hadith have multiple passages about fathers. Here are some examples of popular hadiths where we read what Muhammad taught his followers:
“A man’s insulting his father is one of the major wrong actions in the sight of God, the Almighty.” Al-Adab Al-Mufrad Lī Al-Bukhārī
“God’s pleasure is found in the happiness of the father while God’s anger is a result of the displeasure of one’s father.” –Ibn Ḥibbān
Islam also teaches that a father should pray for his children and the children must do everything they can to treat their father well. However, the relationship between Muslim fathers and children can be very impersonal, because of the strict and formal nature of Islam. How this is lived out is truly dependent on each individual family’s devoutness to Islam’s rules.
Every Muslim boy expects to be a father someday. Marriage and children are expected and are ordered by Allah. It is important to remember that Muslims are required to expand the “ummah” of Islam by creating children (the Ummah is the nation of Islam made up of every Muslim around the world). This means that if a Muslim couple cannot have children, the husband is urged to marry another woman in order to have descendants through her. Many husbands have been forced to marry a second or third wife if he only has girls from his wife or if his wife cannot produce heirs.
Usually, when a Muslim man has more than one wife with children, strained relationships form between the children and their father. Also, fathers will often have favorite wives, and therefore favorite children, leading the kids to compete for their father’s attention and affection.
The Muslim father is a victim of Islam just as the mother is. He is born to provide for his family and parents, to protect his family’s honor even if he has to kill, and he must defend and expand Islam.
Why is fatherhood important when it comes to evangelism
It is essential for Christians to understand Islam’s cultural and family structure as they are evangelizing to their Muslim friends, especially when it comes to parental roles. Our experiences with our parents shape how we view and interact with much of the world and even how we interact with God.
God is our heavenly Father. If your Muslim friend has a poor relationship with their earthly father, then they might be inherently distrustful of the relationship that God is offering them. While you are sharing the Gospel with your Muslim friend, you may need to emphasize what God is like as a Father so that they learn He is not like their human father. Here are some ways that the Bible describes God as a father:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36
“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are.” 1 John 3:1
“Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” Psalm 103:13
God is loving, merciful, and compassionate towards us, His children. Explain to your Muslim friend that He loved them so much that He sent Jesus to die for them just so that He could have a relationship with them (John 3:16). He is better than any earthly father, good or bad, because is the model for what fatherhood should look like.