When you’re talking about heavy and complex faith topics with your Muslim friend, emotions can run high. There is no “light and breezy” way to talk about the Trinity, the Cross, or the brokenness of humanity and our need for a Savior. Then, add in the fact that you and your Muslim friend most likely disagree on a lot of topics, and there’s a good possibility of getting into an argument.

Is arguing biblical? If so, how do you argue in a way that is God honoring? And, should you really “agree to disagree”? First, we’ll look at what the Bible says and then we’ll give you some practical tools to use if you and your Muslim friend get into an argument.

What does the Bible say about arguments?

Read the following verses and think about how they would apply to an argument with your Muslim friend.

“Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9

Anger is mostly a heart issue as this verse affirms and we should avoid it  when there is a disagreement with our Muslim friend. Being wise and expecting  to disagree will actually help you prepare your emotions so you are not easily angered by what they say. 

“But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged…” 2 Timothy 2:23-24

“An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.” Proverbs 29:22

These verses remind us that we shouldn’t be extremely reactive when we disagree with our Muslim friend. Do not look for a fight or a debate with them, and if they say things in anger, be patient and gracious with them. They may want to stir anger in you so they can “win” the conversation, so don’t allow their inflamed words to affect you. 

“As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.” Ephesians 4:14-15

We should not be swayed by what our Muslim friends say, and we need to be wise in how we talk to them! Always speak the truth in love, which will usually mean opening their eyes to how Islam has deceived them.

We need to acknowledge that most of these verses have to do with anger, and not all arguments are driven by anger. There is a way for us to have disagreements and debates with our Muslim friend that are not from a place of anger, but from a desire to share perspectives, hear our friend, and reveal the truth.

Practical tools for honoring Christ in an argument

First off, we urge you to not “argue” with your Muslim friend. Just like the verses above say, do not be easily provoked or reactive, but loving and thoughtful with your Muslim friend. Think of it as a respectful debate or disagreement, which can help lower tensions in your mind and how you approach your friend.

Do not shy away from a conversation about a topic you know you disagree on. A conversation about God’s character or the divinity of Jesus Christ will not be easy, but it is one that can open up your Muslim friend’s eyes to the truth!

There are respectful ways to discuss things that you do not agree on without damaging the relationship. Do not raise your voice or do anything to insult your Muslim friend’s intelligence. One topic that you must be extremely sensitive to around your Muslim friend is Muhammad. Belittling him will immediately close off your Muslim friend from wanting to talk to you at all.

In addition to being careful with what you talk about, be mindful about how you talk to your Muslim friend. Instead of using language that can seem aggressive, such as “You said you believed in paradise,” you can say, “From what I understand, this is what you believe in.” Shifting to use what is called “I language” can keep your friend from feeling attacked and becoming defensive.

Do not be afraid to stop the conversation. If you don’t know the answers to what your Muslim friend is asking, tell them you’ll look into it and set up a time to continue talking. If the conversation begins to fall apart, or they start to throw at you more topics of disagreements, take a breath and tell your Muslim friend that you should resume at another time and that you will both agree to discuss one topic at a time. 

Overall, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you throughout the conversation and to give you wisdom and the right words to say to still reveal the truth while preserving your friendship.

Prayer

Dear Lord, please give me grace and patience when I’m talking to my Muslim friend. Even if we disagree, give me the words to speak the truth in love. Open up my Muslim friend’s heart to receive Your truth. Amen.