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Understanding the Importance of Family in Islam versus what the Bible says about family

Importance of family in Islam - family photo

Evangelism to Muslims is very specific and demands us to be aware of their Islamic lifestyle and beliefs that are different from other religions. Remember, a Muslim’s worldview is completely shaped by the Quran, the Hadith, and their religious leaders. For Christians who want to share the gospel with Muslims, understanding this worldview is key so you can meet Muslims where they are.

The importance of family in Islam is similar to how Christians also prioritize family. This can help Christians connect with their Muslim friends! But interestingly enough, the motivations for this high value of the family unit are different. The main differences are recognized through these two questions:

Is everyone required to be married and have a family?
What does adoption look like in Islam versus Christianity?

When Christians understand why Muslims value family so much, it helps us be better friends and evangelists to them!

Why is family so important in Islam?

There is a popular Hadith in Islam that quotes Muhammad saying, "He who wishes that his sustenance be increased for him and his death day be delayed, then he should pay attention to his kinsfolk," (Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 74, p. 89).

There is even a more specific hadith by Muhammad teaching Muslim men that marriage helps them complete half of their religious duties.

“Whoever Allah provides with a righteous wife, Allah has assisted him in half of his religion. Let him fear Allah regarding the second half.” (al-Mu’jam al-Awsaṭ 992)

Muhammad made it clear from the start of Islam that marriage and family are key to growing Islam. His new religion would have the same familial values as the Jews and Christians of his day. This was one way Muhammad could try to convince the Jews and Christians of his prophethood (you can learn more about other ways Muhammad tried to gain their favor here).

The big difference between what Islam says and what the Bible says about family

The importance of family in Islam is so key that every Muslim is required to have a family and have children. This is called expanding the “Ummah” of Islam, which is essentially the nation of Islam that includes every Muslim across the world¹.

Islam teaches that every child is born a Muslim², and Muslim parents whisper the Islamic confession of faith into their child’s ear after they are born to ensure that they are in Allah’s favor. So having families and babies means more followers of Islam, and more followers means more power for Islam. Learn more about how Muslims “inherit Islam” in our blog: Inheriting Islam: How fear keeps Muslims from leaving the religion³.

While Islam requires that every Muslim should be married in order to expand the ummah Islam, our God, the God of the Bible, wants us to honor Him and grow in our relationship with Him first and foremost. Whether we are married, single, childless, or have kids, God wants you to do it in a way that honors Him. There is no requirement to have children to “make more Christians,” especially since the choice of following Jesus is ultimately up to the child!

In fact, Paul even writes in 1 Corinthians 7 that sometimes it is better for believers to stay single so they can not have anything take their attention away from God. Most of Jesus’ disciples died without leaving a family behind because they spent their entire lives focused on spreading the gospel and increasing the kingdom of heaven by bringing people to know Christ by their own choice, not because of birth.

Importance of family in Islam: Is adoption used to spread Islam?

You might be wondering, “If Islam is all about expanding their population, why don’t I hear about adoption within Islam?” The answer goes back to Muhammad, who actually did adopt a male slave as a son since he had no male children. However, later in Muhammad’s life, he abolished adoption⁴, calling it a heresy, so that he could marry his adopted son’s wife.

Today, Muslims still follow Muhammad’s order to abstain from adopting, and if there is an orphaned child under someone’s care, they are not given any legal standing– no last name and no inheritance⁵.

What does God call Christians to do concerning family?

It is no secret that family is vital in Christian culture today. There is a big focus on getting married and having a God-centered relationship with your spouse and children. However, there is nothing in the Bible that says this is the goal for Christians.

But this does not mean there is no Scripture about healthy marriage and family. We’ve explored differences between the Islamic and Christian beliefs about marriage⁶ before, so let’s look at what the Bible says about family.

“You shall teach them [God’s commandments] diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Deuteronomy 6:7⁷

“Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:20-21⁸

God wants our families to mirror Christ-like love to each other, parents to children, and children to parents. He calls us to teach our children how to walk according to God’s commands in the Bible, but ultimately it is the child’s choice whether they want to pursue a relationship with God or not.

What does adoption look like for Christians?

Adoption is a metaphor in the New Testament used to describe our relationship with God. The Bible explains that earthly adoption is a reflection of how we are adopted by our Heavenly Father. Christians follow the biblical principles of adoption when adopting an orphan into their family; the new child becomes a member of the family and is treated just like any other child or family member.

“He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will…” Ephesians 1:5⁹

While Muslims are forbidden from adopting, Christians are told to take care of orphans and widows (James 1:27). There is no requirement to adopt, but there is a very clear calling on all of us to take care of those in need. Every Christian should carefully consider what this means for them, whether through financial support of a ministry, volunteering in family support services, or adopting!

Talking about the importance of family in Islam with your Muslim friends

Since family is so important for Muslims, it is a great topic to talk about with your Muslim friends. Expressing an interest in their opinions and desires will show your friend that you care about them as people.

What you ask your Muslim friend will largely depend on what season of life they are in. Are they parents? Are they single? Are they still in their parents’ household? Whatever situation they are in, ask questions along the lines of these:

Do you/did you feel pressure to get married and have children?
How important is having a family of your own to you?
Do you worry about having kids one day?

Approach your Muslim friend with love and let them know that they have a safe space to talk about these things. Pray before talking to them, and ask God to open the door for you to share His unconditional, fatherly love with your Muslim friend!

Prayer for sharing the gospel with Muslims

Dear Lord, thank you for offering everyone a unique relationship with You. I want to honor You no matter what season of life I am in; help me reflect this to my Muslim friend. Let us have a fruitful conversation that might free them from the lies of Islam and allow them to see the truth about who You are. Amen.