What do you do if a fellow Christian has an emotional and romantic connection with a Muslim? Your friend shared with you that they have found so many common things together and hope that their different faiths will not affect their love.
First we have to realize that there are more than one type of “Christian.”
If they call themselves Christian but are not disciples of the Word of God, and if their worldview is far from being biblical, this may mean that they have not repented and made Christ the Lord of their life. If your friend is a “cultural” Christian, this could be because they were born into a Christian home. Maybe they went to Sunday school, and now they attend church on and off.
In such a case, you have to return to the basics and present the gospel message to your friend (and maybe eventually to their Muslim partner).
But what do you do if you know that your friend is a true Christ follower? Your response is determined by how you answer this question: Is it wrong for a believer to date a non-Christian?
The Bible is clear about that! Your friend will be in an unequally yoked relationship. This phrase is used a lot when it comes to Christian dating, and it comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. Paul tells the believer there should not be a partnership or relationship between light and darkness, or between two people serving two different masters.
Such relationships are dangerous because they will pull the Christian away froma life of obedience to the Lord and His Word.
Interfaith relationships for Christ-followers do not help the believer grow closer to God, and may in fact distract them from their faith or pull them away from fellowship with other believers.
How to talk to your Christian friend about their unequally yoked interfaith relationship
Ask permission from your friend to discuss their dating, and make sure it is clear you are initiating this conversation because you love them.
Don’t approach your friend with accusations, but express your concern for them by asking questions. This will show that you are not judging them, instead you truly just want the best for them! Start by helping them answer questions they may have not considered:
How much do you know about Islam and what it teaches about marriage, divorce, multiple-wives, etc.? (You can learn about that right now in this blog)
How devout to their religion is your Muslim date and his/her family?
Will their family accept you if you do not become a Muslim?
Have you thought about your family and future children and how this will work? Going to church, having a family Bible study and prayer time? Celebrating Christmas and Easter?
How will you raise your kids when you do not share the same faith?
Remind your friend what marriage is according to the Bible. Then add these questions:
How will your spouse understand that marriage is a covenant and not a contract?
How can your spouse reflect Christ’s love to you when they do not know Christ?
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
When is the right time to give unsolicited advice to a Christian dating a Muslim?
If you notice your friend is beginning to isolate themselves from their Christian friends, this is a bad sign. You may need to step in and check on them as soon as possible. Some Muslim men purposefully date non-Muslim women in hopes they will convert them to Islam and increase Islam’s ummah– the population of Islam around the world.
When you bring up your concerns about their relationship, they won’t like what you have to say. But you need to be direct because you could be the only one pointing out the dangerous situation they are in.
At this time, they need to be gently reminded that this relationship will either end in heartbreak or it will lead to them turning away from the Lord in order to stay in this relationship. This will not only affect them, but their children and legacy.
You can watch a story of how one woman became trapped after she married a Muslim man on our YouTube channel: Dare to Love Muslims: "I'll Fly Away"
Let us remember that we have a responsibility to look out for our brothers and sisters in Christ.
“Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2
Surround your friend with the Christian community. If you have common Christian friends, message them and ask them to check in on your struggling friend. Ask them to attend a Bible study or church group with you so they can begin spending more time with people who share the same faith again.
Help your friend put God first
Above all, find out where your friend is spiritually. Are they truly born again? Do they put the Lord first in their life?
Ultimately, it is the Holy Spirit’s job to direct and teach and reproach. Help them grow deeper in their relationship with Jesus so they can hear God’s voice in their life.
Encourage them to sacrifice and leave the one they love for Jesus, and remind them of the Lord's promises that He blesses those who forsake anything or anyone to obey Him.
There is a chance that your friend will be mad at you for refusing to support their relationship. Still, it is better to try to protect your friend than to sit by and do nothing. Speak the truth in love and cover your friend in prayer.
Remember that your friend is responsible for their decisions. Do your best to love them and shed light on the subject and keep praying for God to change their heart.
If they insist on continuing this relationship and maybe even marry the Muslim, set up healthy boundaries, but do not disengage completely! Make sure you are there for them, so whenever they are ready to return to the Father’s arms, you will be there to support them.
Prayer for the friend who is dating a Muslim
Dear Lord, I lift up my friend to you right now. I pray that you intervene in their life and remove anything or anyone that is separating them from you and pulling them away from you. I pray that their Muslim partner could learn the truth about You and your love. Please protect my friend from harm. Give me the right words when I talk to them so they know it is from a place of love and obedience to You, not condemnation. Amen.
